Dear Céline
How to write this letter without writing 13 more? Of course, I do understand why I was asked to publicly write to you, my famous daughter, but nothing could change my 'sentiments': my (mother's) heart has fourteen compartments! Also, what I am writing to you, I address it to every one of my children... I remember, realizing, when you were a small girl, that you loved singing and I admit I felt a little discouraged about that...
''Not another one!'' I said to myself. I had 13 children before you, 9 of which were caressing an identical dream to yours. 9 who also failed with this dream, 9 that I couldn't have helped, because life had imposed too many restraints, these, essential to our survival. It became an habit, if I can say, to silence this dream on all of my children. One day, I started to question myself... You had this talent, my little bird, we could not ignore it. But mainly, you were my 'baby', our baby and also my last one... I wanted to accomplish something with you.
This is when I started to knock on show business's doors. I was ill equipped to find myself in these surroundings. I was a mother. You know the story, Céline.... People were saying to me ''You know, Mrs. Dion... '' Yes, I knew... I knew I loved you and that I would force doors for you...
It was not an earning job to write songs for a child. I understood that right away. Also, I wasn't making it for the money, but... for love! Have I told you, Céline that the flow of songs I had in my head was waking me up during the night? I was going to work around 5:00, 5:30 in the morning, put on the stoves before the arrival of the customers, and I was writing songs for you. For your dream, which became also mine. I even obliged your brother Jacques to put music to my words. ''But I never wrote music, Mom!'' It was better for him to start doing it!
The rest is history... Now, I am shivering every time I see 45,000 persons applauding you. Shivers of pride. Shivers of emotions. Mother's shivers. But it took quite some time for myself to get there. I was afraid of the success I had so wished for you. At the beginning, I thought your notoriety would take you away from me. You were surrounded by more and more professionals, who accomplished duties that I always accomplished by myself, until then. Who was more well placed than a mother of 14 to know how to take care of a single one? I felt jealous of all those people surrounding you... and I thought at the same time that It was stupid to feel this way. I had to go through great lengths before I would understand that my place around my 14th child was 'untouchable'.
The day you announced to me you were in love with your manager, I had to climb up another mountain... René was grabbing my baby, my love, away from me, and I was mad at him for that. Like a mother. Forgive me, Céline, if it hurted you. I had my own dreams regarding your prince charming... We are, sometimes afraid of being of no more use for our children... But you knew how to prove to me, that even for a 'planetary' star, nothing replaces a mother.
Remember Los Angeles, your sorrow and distress when you phoned me. René just felt a little episode (heart malaise). You were then leaving for France to tour. He couldn't go with you. 'I would like to be near you, my daughter,'' you answered me ''that's all I wanted to hear, mother. I need you.'' The day after, we met in New York and then we headed for Europe. All of France was waiting for you, but in my head, we were all alone in the world.
You are going through another rough time. It happens, on occasion, to every one of my children. Last week, you reassured me, on the phone: everything was going well. You told me that René was taking the vitamins I had sent him. They are going to do him good. We exchanged fresh news, and after that, I could breathe! I felt a lot better, and I went to sow. I sowed a whole little outfit, that same night!
We all know that you wish to be a mother yourself. You and I, are we going to be alike, as mothers? Maybe, on certain points. For example, I know that like me, hard times are giving you strength and energy. Having said that, you are going to be a mother of another era. You won't be sawing after your children would have reassured you! You will have an intense relationship with them, but your way of living will be different.
I wish you have the children that you desire, but if they do not come, it wouldn't be the end of the world. So many children are deprived of parents...
While waiting, you have many things to accomplish. Your life is not over, my child, it is only beginning! While René was on the operation table, I looked at you, my daughter, to realize how alike we are.
I was only 12 or 14 when my father showed me how to prepare the horse for labour. The horse was a hundred times bigger than I, and I was scared. ''You must learn how to approach it'', father was saying ''Only then will you control your fear''.
When I saw you take all of René's friends and relatives and shook them, reminding them it was not the time to cry, your courage appeared to me in all it's greatness. And I admired you. '' It is your father, it is your friend but it is also my husband who is fighting'' did you say. What you said, my baby gave strength to us all. Though, God knows how scared you must have been yourself... '' We must be strong'', you kept repeating people around you. You knew how to find the encouraging words for everyone. It warmed my heart to see you this way. It is like that, Céline, that we must approach life.
These days, I devote all my time and energy for the 'Bal de la fète des mères' (Mother's day Ball), which is organized to profit the Achille Tanguay Foundation (Mrs Dion's father). I couldn't be with you in Florida, but I decided to put my efforts towards this fundraiser which goal is to help mothers in need, and honored their courage. It is an act of love, and every time I do so around me, it is to all my children, grand children, grand grand children I am doing for equally. It is now my way of being your mother. It is now my way of loving you all.
-
Maman
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